Looking up

So I woke up today smiling… Weird I know. I mean, considering the events of yesterday, I wouldn’t really say I had something to smile about. Dreams are strange things… It’s been a while since I have been able to remember if I actually even had a dream the night before, yet alone remember the events of it.

Is it normal to have this type of experience? When you tell your mind to do one thing and then something inside you clearly wants something else. When you really don’t want to talk to someone, try and push them away for the sake of protecting yourself and then your mind has to go and catch you out while you innocently sleep and creep them back into your thoughts. Now that’s just not fair.

I’m still young. There is going to be many times when there are conflicting forces in life and many a day when i’m just not going to know what to do with them. So for now, maybe it’s best to try and just get back on track with what i’m meant to be doing right now and what what my mind is tying to steer my attention to.

Moving on from my pessimistic rant and despite my strange dream and strange past few days – I rose with a smile on my face and the sun shining through the blinds.

Maybe today might be a good day.


Lovesick and Drunk On Love

Love is a funny emotion. I choose the word emotion as love is a feeling like joy or pain but can change a persons attitudes about themselves and behaviour in dramatic ways if it is inconsistent.

Looking at love in terms of cognitive dissonance, the feelings that derive from feeling a sense of attachment, need or desire for a person can make you feel like the happiest person in the world or can leave you in a broken and in a traumatic state. It can tear away any sense of morals or obligation and make you fall flat on your face.

The ever growing epidemic of teenage pregnancies in England is not only causing an impact in the population and statistics of this booming country, but also leaves a trail of single mothers trying to make ends meet; juggling the burden of bringing up their children whilst battling against the expectations of society and their own feelings.

Our lifes are becoming engulfed with the constant noise of stereotypical and representatives of things that we are not on television everyday. The over complicated story lines which blur the distinction in our hectic everyday lives.

Why is it that sometimes we make the stupidest decisions out of impulse? Setting ourselves up for the most hurtful fates.


There will be people in life who will be nice, some who will stare you in the face and smile while picturing metaphorically stabbing you in the back in some way or another; or people who will be downright rude.

The types of people who will use you to vent their anger after having a bad day or throw unnecessary and harsh comments at you at the only expense to make themselves feel better…

The media show us a life where everything is structured, glamourised and exaggerated which makes us think life is black and white. Dramatised sequences which evolve through suspense and direction from a scipt. But life is everything before the production, it’s like a blank canvas waiting to be filled with a story, waiting to be written.

The hard truth in the matter is life is what you make it.

You can go through life letting it live you, going along with the flow, free-falling into scenario after scenario like a coincidence from other people’s actions and continuously going round in circles – or you can get up and do something about it.

Sitting there listen to my house mate ramble on about how he is –oh “so clever” and raving about how “I will never be able to live my dreams” – can either break me down or it can make me as a person.

I have learnt so far in my short life that there is hundred of experiences that you are going to go through. There is going to be a time in life when you just don’t like the people around you; when you’re stuck in a job and can only dream of getting out. Or a time when you suffer from a loss or feel heartbreak; as if you’re world is about to collide. But there will also be times of joy.

If life is what you make it, then live life with a smile, take constructive criticism from people around you but also know when to spot the difference when someone is trying to help you and also when they could just being a tad bit nasty.

I imagine life like an obstacle course. Being stuck in the middle of a track full of obstacles and having to fight you’re way through them. There can be times when you fall and hurt yourself – those are the mistakes, when all you can really do is pick yourself up and try again. Some people may decide to give up and weigh up the situation as something that doesn’t really bother them or you can try harder until you get what you want to achieve. Along the obstacle course you go through different situations that you have to assess and tackle just like the everyday occurrences in life. The obstacles are experiences that you learn from by making mistakes and those mistakes mould you as a person.

Don’t be afraid to be different and never let anyone put you down. You will accomplish good things when you think good things and when you believe in yourself you will shine.

“Sometimes the strongest people are the ones that love beyond all faults, cry behind closed doors and fight battles that nobody else knows about” – Unknown Author